So I have been trying to find a balance. A lot of people close their various accounts, but being far from home and far from many close friends will always be enough incentive for holding onto my accounts. It is the easiest way to keep track of everybody and share about our family. I do not enjoy talking on the phone, but I do enjoy text messaging. In print so much can be taken out of context or misread so that can be tricky. I love snail mail, but it is hard to keep on top of and you can't keep the flow going on both sides. Email is similar- I love it and love that is more personal than a Facebook post, but I can control if the other person will reply. Life happens and months can go by when we feel like we just received a letter or email yesterday. So social media to the rescue!
I admit, sometimes I used social media to brag on my kids or my life. I am proud of where I am now and the person I have become. I am very proud of my boys and think they are just the most adorable little guys. I don't often complain about trivial things, but I am honest if we are having some struggles. I just may not go into detail because it's a big downer when al you read is what's going wrong in he lives of others. So I'm not trying to hide those aspects of our lives, rather, I just want to share how wonderful our lives are and how blessed we've been. Because we are TRULY blessed!
But I see people agreeing with others on posts and feel left out. Or I might wonder how they can think so wrong (meaning different than me) and have so many people agree with them. I see how many likes a selfie has and can't believe people are encouraging that narcissism (I really don't like selfies). I see people applauding rants over seemingly minor things and saying it's refreshing to see "real life posts", when I get frustrated that it's just rant after rant from that person. Then I count the likes my pictures get. I compare the comments. I wonder why my close friends don't like and comment on every single one of my pictures (mostly because they have lives and aren't on social media 24/7). I wish I had "friends like she has"... Even though I know they are just cyber friends with no real depth. I wish my friends would do this or not do that like so-and-so's friends... But I know that my friends don't speak the love languages of gifts or acts of service as freely. I don't understand why people aren't fawning over my boys every single picture because they are just the cutest ever... Actually, this one I really don't understand. What's up with that? *wink*
Compare compare compare. I notice details readily and this is a blessing and a curse. I am learning to avoid clicking on comments and likes on other posts if I am not planning to include one myself. I am learning to avoid certain people's pages so I am not tempted to judge or criticize them. I am trying to get in the habit of only checking social media a couple times a day and not refreshing every few minutes- such a bad habit. I am working on protecting my joy instead of opening the floodgates for comparison and disappointment.
I have known for a long time that social media was hindering my growth and life. But I had excuses that it was overall better than bad, it was more helpful than hurtful. Maybe this is true, but I need to take steps to protect myself. This makes me happier and mentally healthier and that is a better atmosphere for my family.
God has been working in my heart so much lately. I think my heart is beginning to soften so it can be molded by Him. It is open to learning and change. It has been so FREEING to give up so many things I've held on to for years/ a decade and start to move forward. God has been speaking to my heart for a long time but I always just shut out the whispers and chose not to obey. I am done with that! I will not allow social media to steal my joy. It ends now.
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