A Step Back

I haven't been posting as often lately. I don't know if I just don't have as much to say, don't want to share my thoughts publicly, am becoming more wary of the Internet in general, or just don't have time to post. I still need to update Jackson and Daniel's last posts with pictures (more for my record keeping than anything else) and it's almost time for another Jackso post! I only do posts quarterly for each boy now. 

Maybe I haven't been posting as much because Matt and I have been making more of an effort in our communication. I think we have pretty clear communication in our marriage and are more open and honest than most couples. That is why our marriage is thriving. We have been specifically listening to each other on topics that don't necessarily interest us. As a female, I can jabber on about insignificant things all day every day. While everything I talk about may not be important, Matt knows that I still need to be heard. The more he listens, the less I feel I need an outlet. So less venting posts and less random thoughts posts. 

I also have a pretty great group of friends here. We get together at least once a week and have an ongoing message thread. I send them some of the most random thoughts and they humor me. Another outlet for me to pour into. 

Then I have one friend here who has heard it all! We get together often and text even more. Sometimes I scroll back to find something we said earlier that day and it takes awhile to find it because it has been buried in other messages. I can be open and honest with her in a way that is very rare for me with friends. I fear no judgement and we are very like-minded and appreciate that. She is a great sounding board for me and  voice of reason and wisdom. 

So I haven't been posting as often. I think I am the most content and satisfied I have ever been in my life. I feel closer to God than I ever have been. Matt and I are falling into a smooth stride in our relationship after a couple years of change after change after change (with more changes coming in the next couple years!). My boys are my pride and joy and it is such a privilege to be their mom. Watching their relationship grow and develop is so refreshing. I have wonderful friends from all seasons of my life and I am so thankful for them. We feel financially secure. We have a comfortable home. We feel like all our needs and many of our wants are being met. We're in a pretty good place right now.

Don't get me wrong, life is not perfect. Matt and I fight. Financial emergencies continue to arise, but we are trying to be wise with our money so it isn't a disaster when that happens. Potty training is frustrating, but the end is in sight! Daniel is a little wrecking ball and runs into things/falls over more than any toddler should. We have long, tiring days and sleepless nights. We have many tears but many more hugs. We have hard times and hard days, but this has been such a rewarding season of growth for our entire family. This life is beautiful and I am just so blessed. 

So I am happy and content. Maybe for the first time in my life. It is a great place to be.