1. Career development. In the current economy no one can take their job for granted. This past summer thousands of Captains and Majors were released from the Army as part of a downsize. Just as with any civilian job, the Army is a competitive field. Deployments allow soldiers to use their skills and demonstrate their ability to lead. While deployed, Matt received his combat patch for deploying to a hostile environment and his combat action badge for being engaged by the enemy. He also showed willingness to do whatever job was needed whether at home on rear detachment or overseas in theater.
2. Practical experience for Matt. While overseas Matt gained a lot of practical experience for his MOS. Matt moved into a new unit, with new leadership, and took on a new job position. He had to learn where everything was on BAF, meet his new chain of command and soldiers, and quickly understand his new responsibilities and requirements. Matt also was able to go on patrols with the platoons even though that was not part of his job. He was able to put his training to use and tried to make the most of each opportunity he had while overseas.
3. Unexpected embrace of independence. I am a very dependent person naturally. This was a concern of ours when we decided to pursue the military. We weren't sure how well I would do on my own when Matt was gone for training or deployment. The times he has been gone for training so far have helped stretch me already. This deployment stretched me even further as I had to manage the house, do all the chores (like taking out the trash which is traditionally Matt's job), and care for our two boys. Things had to be done and it wasn't as tedious to do them as I expected. I embraced the independence. It empowered me. It encouraged me for the future (as deployments will be a part of our lives for Matt's entire career). I was proactive in my new responsibilities and made sure everything was done and made preparations for the next days. It was a growing experience for me and I am a much more confident person now.
4. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. No one knows how to push my buttons like Matt. He knows every noise and mannerism that drives me crazy. Marriage isn't always happy conversations and lovey dovey moments. Marriage is often full of annoyances and disagreements. Then your spouse goes away and you suddenly miss even the most annoying noise he makes. You miss him sitting at his computer playing video games. You miss him not rinsing out his bowl. Being apart reminds one of all the wonderful that the every day drowns out. Overall, I think we honestly appreciate each other more than most families. But being apart makes us appreciate being together so much more.
5. Let's be honest, hazard pay. Any extra income is welcome. We have bills to pay and two growing boys to clothe and feed! We live a very comfortable life and try to manage our finances wisely. Especially with the holidays coming up, extra income is gladly accepted.
6. Reliance on God. Even though this was a quiet deployment, I still worried about Matt. To calm my heart I read through the Psalms and Proverbs and gained peace from their promises. The Lord knows our story and our path. The Lord was with Matt in Afghanistan and with me at home managing alone. There was nothing (besides prayer) that I could do to keep Matt safe and so I relied on God to protect him. I had faith and trust that God knew what was best for our family.
7. Building a local support system. The hardest part of military life for me so far has been leaving friends and making new ones. With Matt gone I needed friends to talk to. I needed friends to go out with. I needed friends to encourage me. I had many play dates and some friendships were stronger than others. Then I found a few woman who just "got me". Life seemed so much lighter when I found good friends.
8. Family visits. My parents came to visit for a few days. It is always so nice when we're able to see family since they're in MI, CA, and SC. It was nice having help with the boys. It was nice getting things done since I had extra hands. It was just nice being with loved ones. The boys loved playing with Papa and Grammy too.
9. Real life wakeup call. We've talked about what we would do if Matt were injured and couldn't work at all or had to be medically discharged from the Army or was even killed. I have great references from my past employers and a Master's degree so I know I could probably find a job to support my family if need be. Matt's benefits would help through the Army. But having to keep track of everything and care for the boys on my own was a real wakeup call. Life would be so stressful and busy and lonely without the help and support of my best friend, let alone partner. If I just returned to work there would still be so much I would feel was my responsibility at home as a wife and mother- I hold pretty traditional role responsibilities. We would do what we needed to do but it was a real eye opener to what life could be if. It also helped me know that I could do it. It is possible. I am stronger than I think. That is encouraging.
10. Homecoming. When all is said and done, he comes home! How wonderful! It is such an exciting time! You wait anxiously for the 5 day phone call to prepare for his homecoming. Then you sit around waiting for the 12 hour phone call. Then you try to sleep so you can feel refreshed the next day when you get to see him. It is emotional and exhilarating. It almost makes the time apart worth it when you get to see your soldier and hug him. When you get to see your two year old's face light up in recognition and run into his Daddy's arms. It is so wonderful.
Deployments are hard. Deployments are stretching. Deployments are fear-filled. But deployments are also rewarding in their own little way. It really proves the strength of a family as individuals and as a whole. I am thankful for how this first deployment has grown my family. It has been such an unexpected blessing in our lives. Matt has been home a little over a month and we have had such a wonderful, full month together. So if you're preparing for a deployment, know that not everything about deployments suck and some of it is pretty great.
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