Daniel Quarterly

Daniel is 2.5 years old today! This picture was taken this morning as he danced around the living room. He loves to sing and dance and that is so indicative of his personality. He is such a happy, silly child. He loves his brothers and follows Jackson everywhere. He is a brute and constantly jumps on Daddy or Jackson to wrestle. He is also sensitive and gets his feelings hurt when Jackson doesn't want to play with him. He is my snuggly middle child and he is just so so special!

(7/13-8/12)

*Daddy and Jackson have been away for the weekend for Uncle Mark's wedding. Daniel and I have had a fun couple days alone, and I realized that Daniel needs more attention than Jackson does. He is still more solitary than most 2yo, but he wants to be sure I'm paying attention. I think Jackson provides this attention most of the time. He grabbed my hand to make sure I was coming upstairs with him, he keeps bringing me toys and saying what they are, he doesn't want me in a different room than him. It's very endearing, but I'm definitely glad he's happy to play with his brother most of the time. 

*knows a lot of animals- says hippo, lion, raffe (giraffe), ushroo (kangaroo), and more when he's playing with Noah's ark. 

*Daniel was SO HAPPY to have Jackson home! He kept taking toys over to him and trying to play and jumping on Jackson, but Jackson just wanted to relax and have snacks.

*has always loved playing with people's hair when he settles down to sleep. He did this in the church nursery and has always done it while he nurses. If hair is up he gets frustrated! I have my hair in ponytails when I'm putting him to sleep and have to pull it out so he can use a handful to settle down.

*I feel so badly about this: Daniel was playing with all the puzzles on the floor by himself. I was resting on the couch, feeling all Preggo and uncomfortable. He piles up all the pieces to one puzzle in one hand and picks up the puzzle board with the other and dumps it all in my lap roughly. It hurt me so I reacted and tossed the puzzle board on the floor and said "No!" I wasn't really yelling at him, but it hurt his feelings and he just started sobbing. Not a manipulative whimper, but a hard cry. I told him I was sorry and asked him if he wanted to do puzzles with Mumma and he said ok. I picked up the board and he happily put the pieces in it looking at me for affirmation each time. I praised him and he was just so happy. He is such a sweet, little boy and I need to slow down and remember that he is still so little.

*7/22 Daniel has continued to go pee pee on the potty regularly. He likes taking showers with me in the morning and when he gets out he has been peeing on the floor. I started telling him that pee pee only belongs in the potty or his diaper and putting him on the big potty. Today he said he had to go gah gee after the shower and pointed to the toilet, so I put him on and he went. Then he ran into the living room. When I came out there to put on his diaper he said "I go pee pee on the stairs". He showed me exactly where and it was just a couple drips, but it was a very clear sentence.

*7/28 was Daniel's last time nursing. I didn't realize it would be his last time (like so many lasts in childhood) and it makes me so sad. I was trying to nurse him to sleep for his nap before the sitter arrived. He was almost asleep when she arrived and I knew he wouldn't fall asleep on his own. I left for my Dr. appt and never came home as he sent me to L&D to be monitored and baby Chase was born that night. Daniel did fine going to sleep at bedtime for our babysitter, Nikki, and then went to sleep at nap and bedtime for Matt while I was in the hospital. So we decided a clean break would be best for Daniel, especially since he can see that the baby needs to nurse. He fussed when he saw me nurse Chase at the hospital, but he was fine when I offered for him to sit next to me and cuddle while I did it. When we got home he was more distraught and kept asking for nom noms. He was overly tired and didn't understand why I was saying no and why the baby could. We made it the whole evening and through bedtime without nursing so hopefully it only takes another day or so of this for him to understand. I do miss that special time with my little bear though. 

*first week of August: we've been having a rough time with Daniel. Lots of fits, crying, screaming, throwing things at people when he's upset, hitting. Partly the age, partly the adjustment of new baby and no nursing. I am thankful that Daniel mostly obeys when we ask (usually the second or third time, but he acts silly when he says no the first time). Hopefully we can be firm with him and he will learn quickly. 

*8/7 Jackson often pees outside- he does it in the same place every time. Daniel saw him, went and stood there, and tried to pull down his diaper and shorts. So I went out to help him and he peed! 

*It only took about 5 days for Daniel to adjust to not nursing. He will still do a double take when he sees Chase nursing and then look at me to see if maybe he can too, but he doesn't ask anymore. He still wants me to sit and snuggle him at nap and bedtime until he's fully asleep. Hopefully soon he will let me leave when he's mostly asleep and then maybe he'll stay in bed and fall asleep on his own. Baby steps!

*8/8 started saying yes and nodding his head very clearly. It is so adorable! He still says ok sometimes but when I repeat what he says or what I think he wants he says yes. 

*I knew that after bringing Chase home Daniel would seem so much bigger to me, but it is still so surprising. He is still fairly small for his age and definitely not overweight or anything, but he seems so solid and "fluffy". He eats well and is very active so I'm not at all worried, but he just seems so "full" now- but probably just because I've been carrying around a little baby all day. 

(8/13-9/12)

*8/16 Daniel has had just an explosion of speech. He picks up on words and correct sentence structure so easily. Today he saw it was windy outside and said "it's winding outside!" because it's been raining a lot so he's been hearing that it's raining. 

*because of his excellent communication, he has begun to get upset with me when I punish him. He doesn't always want to come sit next to me or get a hug from me afterwards. It hurts a little, but I hope that also means that he is beginning to truly understand punishments.

*love playing "zombies". He waves his arms in the air like a zombie when he asks to play. Jackson, he, and Daddy chase each other around like zombies. 

*Daniel is slowly learning his letters and numbers correctly. Sometimes he says them correctly every time and others he seems confused. He holds up the magnetic letters/numbers and sometimes can't figure out what it is and he guesses multiple times. He is getting better though with more and more letters correct every time. He knows the concept of phonics but usually only does the "huh huh" sound after every letter he identifies.

*8/27 I really need to work on potty training Daniel. He will walk into the bathroom, take off his shorts and diaper, climb up on the potty, go, wipe, then flush the potty all on his own. I'm sure if I put him in underwear that it wouldn't take too long before he was fully trained during the day. I just am too lazy and don't want to clean up the messes for the first few days. Plus Chase is still so needy so that would make it more difficult. 

*when Chase was napping Daniel asked Matt "brother?" Matt told him where Jackson was and Daniel said "more brother?" Asking where Chase was.

*has been wanting to watch Wreck It Ralph nonstop. He asks for "Ralph? Ralph please? Watch it?" Every day. We don't watch it every day, but pretty close!

*as of 9/1 he knows a b c d e f h i j k l o s u v w x by sight. A lot of the other letters he thinks are f's and then he'll just guess. He's learning though, even though I'm lazy at working with him. We do go through some abc books and when he plays with our box of letters I ask him which ones he holds up.

*loves to sing "icky gicky spider"

*having a hard time learning to take turns. He has begun to want every toy that Jackson starts to play with. So I tell him he needs to wait his turn and he throws a fit and tries to grab the toy away. He sits in time out when he doesn't calm down and wait patiently.

*when someone is going potty Daniel gets one square of TP, puts it in the potty, flushes, puts down the lid, and the re-rolls any excess TP that is hanging over the edge of the roll. He is very precise and it is adorable.

*9/4 sent him to Sunday School in a pull-up because we ran out of his diapers. He told them he had to go potty and he went in the potty! He had already peed some in his pull-up, but I cannot believe he told them he had to go potty! 

*when he talks about his brothers he calls them "wuh-son" and "eh chess" (baby chase). It is adorable.

(9/13-10/12)

*so sassy, asks me what my cliff bar is (which he knows) and I say "Mumma's yummy" and he says "no, Daniel's yummy!"

*usually is pretty good about saying the name of the person he's talking to, but has been saying his own more often lately. Like "thank you, Daniel!" Or "bye, Daniel!"

*9/15 went poop in his diaper and went into our bathroom, took off his diaper, climbed up on the toilet (getting poop all over it), tried to wipe, pulled the piece of toilet paper he had while still attached to the roll all the way into the living room and dropped it (the end all poopy), and stood there trying to wipe himself and looking for help. Both Matt and I were occupied while he was doing this. Thankfully he didn't get poop anywhere else. I am glad he's trying to potty train himself but man! I'm so not ready!

*9/16 has taken his own diaper off each time he pooped today (3x). 

*when he's not obeying or fussing in our faces I count him but at 2 I ask him if he wants to go sit in time out or if he wants a spanking depending on the crime, and he will usually say "no!" And change his attitude. I'm glad he understands punishment. Sometimes he will put himself in time out to calm down but he'll sit on his bed and cry until the time out is over. But then he's happy as can be.

*9/17-18 Grammie and GrandPops were here to meet Chase. Daniel just loved to play with GrandPops and was constantly being held by him. He loved having more personal attention.

*9/20 noticed 3 out of 4 of his two year molars are halfway through. That's probably why he's been a little fussier and why he wakes up at night crying. 

*slowly asked for "watch other swee swap". It took awhile but we figured out it was "watch mother goose club"

*9/22 Mumma has really bad poison ivy and it limits her mobility and her mood. Daniel has been sensitive to that and his little feelings have been hurt often and he wants lots of extra snuggles to make up for it. Bedtime had been difficult because he doesn't want Mumma to hold Chase, he wants Mumma to lie down next to him (sitting on the edge of his bed isn't enough). But tonight he asked Jackson for the big shark. Then he was crying while sitting in bed with it and I asked him what was wrong. He said "Mumma shark", he wanted me to put it behind my back so it didn't hurt, which I told him happens when I sit in his bed. What a little sweetie! After that he snuggled up to his pillow and was asleep within 5 minutes.

*9/26 the past couple days Daniel has been overly fussy and asking to sit on my lap. He has definitely noticed the baby taking up most of my time and he is not happy about it. At bedtime he said he didn't want baby Chase to be in the room so Matt took him and Daniel stopped crying. I kept asking if I could get baby Chase and Daniel would say "no, no baby Chase. I'm just sad." That breaks my heart a little for him and it will certainly make bedtime more difficult if this continues. 

*such better speech and language development than Jackson at this age. He has been screaming a lot when he gets upset so we've been working on using his words and not screaming. I told him "no more screaming" and he said "one more screaming. Ahhhh!" But it was a quiet scream- just the same sound he had been making. He is learning to push the limits but hopefully we can punish him more effectively since he understands more. 

*Daniel's favorite color seems to be orange. He constantly asks to wear his orange shirts and he chooses orange things often. We'll see if this continues.

*Whenever Daniel notices that I'm not holding the baby he runs over, arms raised, "hup! Hup!" And is just so happy when I pick him up and snuggle him.

*understands when he's being punished. When I discipline him I tell him what he did wrong and that he shouldn't do that and he nods his head. When I tell him to go sit on his bed in time out he will usually cry but he will go sit and stay until I tell him to get up. He really doesn't like spankings- but I reserve those for if he is doing something dangerous or when he screams/tells Mumma no- then he gets a small spank on the mouth.

*has begun to have an opinion on his clothes. He likes to choose what he wants to wear and refuses to wear anything else. 

*afraid of the wind. Jackson was afraid of the wind at this age too. He'll go outside to play, there will be big gusts of wind and he'll either scream or cry and yell "winding! Winding!" 

He has grown up so much in the past couple months! Hopefully in the next couple months I can tackle trying to really potty train him. Since we'll be moving in March he may regress some, but I think he'll be ready to go when I start trying. He is solidly in 18 month clothes, but I've gotten out the 2T clothes even though they're too big. He is such a smart little boy and is so so observant! I am so blessed to have a happy, smart little second born who loves his whole family and people in general. 

To Be a Writer

Growing up I always wanted to be a writer. I kept various journals- some fiction, some nonfiction. I loved to write short stories for class. I loved to read. When I was older I stil held a passion for writing and planned to go into journalism. Society and education ruined the concept for me so my major changed, my dreams changed, and the whole outlook of my future changed. But I still love to write. 

I don't do much of it now. Even this blog has become sparse with updates on the boys so I can pull info for their photo albums and random thoughts every few months at best. I have so many drafts that will probably never be published and even more thoughts on life and ideas for stories. I keep thinking that maybe someday I will get back into writing. Maybe someday I will sit long enough to formulate a plan for the stories compiled in my head. Maybe someday I will learn to be my own writer and realize that I don't have to be the next Tolkien, Lewis, or Rowling to be successful. 

My husband is a gem. We get each other in a way that I doubt even other happily married couples do. He knows me. Because of this, he has been encouraging me to get back into writing. Something only for me, but maybe someday something for others. Maybe not. Maybe I'll never get published. Maybe I'll never want to be. But just write. Just do it.

So I think I will. I think I should. I think I must.

I want to teach my boys to read something and write something every day. It doesn't have to be a whole chapter in a book. It doesn't have to be a whole page in a journal. Just read something every day. Just write something every day. 

I have many half filled journals. Some personal, some with plans for the future, some for specific periods in my life like pregnancy. It's about time I filled the pages. It is therapeutic. It helps me regain part of myself that has been lost in motherhood. It helps me hold onto my intellect that isn't used as much outside of school. It clears my head and chronicles memories. It is time.

Know what you like. Know your passions. And live them!

Five Months

In five months we are planning to PCS. I am excited for a new home, getting Jackson started in school, looking into and possibly starting the adoption process, meeting new friends, and finding new and exciting things to do in the area. 

I am also very, very sad. I have felt comfortable here at Fort Campbell for about two years, but now I feel like I belong and that this is home. I have a great community and have multiple things I'm involved in that help shape me outside of motherhood. I have birthed two children here and there is always something special about important milestones like that. It is nice not needing to use GPS. I have made one of the best friends I have ever had and several other friends as well. I have grown so much while being here and am a much better person because of it.

But now we are nearing the end of our time here and it will be time to start all over. I know I can make lifelong friends quickly because it happened here. I know I can find things to be involved in with the Army and church because I have found so many ways to help here. I know that my kids will make friends because they are young and I teach them that all little kids can be their friends and they believe that. I am sure my husband will enjoy work more because I really don't think we will find a less organized unit anywhere! Thankfully, he has worked with some great people and he has learned a lot and has continued to shine in his career despite the frustrations. So I have high hopes for Fort Bragg. 

But it is still scary and new and unknown.

We could be there for 18 months. We could be there for 4 years. Either way, it will be home for awhile and I want to fully invest myself in that home while we are there. 

I had looked at rent prices when we learned we'd be going to Fort Bragg and it was discouraging because for the kind of house we would like the rent was way higher than BAH. We can afford to pay over BAH, but we also have to keep in mind Jackson's school tuition since we plan to send him to private school. I just checked again and all the options in the area we like are well within our budget! That is one big sigh of relief for me! We were willing to compromise on some things because Jackson's schooling is more important than having an extra bedroom for an office, but it will be so nice to have a little more wiggle room and have all the perks we want in our next house. 

I have worked a lot on worry while I have been here at Fort Campbell. I have truly learned to worry less and only over the big things, which I am working on giving over to God in faith and trust. But I still have worries over this move, over fishing friends, over Jackson succeeding at real school. But I have seen how much God has provided for us here at Fort Campbell and I know He is going ahead of us to Fort Bragg. 

I am already feeling super sad when I think about leaving, but I am hopeful for what is to come.

Chase Month 2

This little boy turned 2 months yesterday! The initial transition to a family of five was fairly seamless, but now life is catching up to all of us, I think. The big boys still love baby Chase and try to help him when he cries by rocking his swing, giving him a paci, bringing him toys, or singing to him. I am so thankful they love him because both have noticed how much less time I can give them throughout the day. We've been working through it, but I definitely have not been as patient or gentle as I should. So month two hasn't been the easiest, but I think we're all learning and readjusting and growing together as a family.

Chase loves to be held and would probably love to be worn by Mumma all day if he could. When he falls asleep he often will stir if I lie him down, so I sit on the couch a lot to keep him happy. I still love his snuggles so I'm not complaining. He eats well but still spits up a lot. Some days we make it in the clothes we put on in the morning, but others we have 3 outfit changes! I am getting better at catching his spit up instead of letting it get all over us. He had taken bottles, but lot of times he will refuse. He is cooing a lot and will follow us around the room with his eyes. He smiles so much now and I just love his little dimple.

4 Weeks

*8/29 circumcision plastibell fell off

*loves go look at his gallery wall above the changing table when I change him.

*hates getting wiped, baths, and getting his clothes over his head.

5 Weeks

*9/1 slept from 9:30 pm to 2:30 am, ate, fell back asleep immediately, and ate again at 5 am. What a restful night for me!

*going 2 full hours between feedings more often, compared to every 1-1.5 hours. 

*we call him our "tomato baby" because when he cries or poops he turns bright red! Even Daniel says "red baby!"

*9/4 we're not positive, but he may have smiled purposefully at Matt yesterday and then at me today. These smiles are much bigger than his gassy smiles and he does it when he's looking directly at us and we're smiling/cooing at him. But shortly after he would fuss a little.

*9/6 moved into 0-3 month sleepers. He was too long for newborn sleepers!

*likes to be held against my chest with my hand behind his neck so he can fall asleep leaning back away from me. Eventually he will lay his head on his arms that are propped up on my chest, then I can lean him over into my elbow while he sleeps. Does not like to be laid down on his own. 

6 Weeks

*9/11 went in the nursery for the first time! It was promotion Sunday at church so Matt and I were in the 3's Sunday School class so Chase went in with Miss Kellie and did great. He ate 1 oz out of a bottle in the car and the other oz when we got home.

*had to put away his smaller NB clothes. Still fits in some of the long Carter's onesies but have been putting him in some 0-3 months clothes.

*has a sweet spot on the couch. I put him on one of the cushions so he's wedged between the back cushion and the small throw pillow. Since he's surrounded by soft pillows I think it feels like he's being held. This allows me to get some things done while he naps.

7 Weeks

*9/16 purposefully reached and hit the toys on his baby gym mat. He will look at them and bat then over and over and sometimes smiles when they move.

*smiles at me and toys purposefully often.

8 Weeks

*9/22 Mumma has a real bad case of poison ivy. My entire left leg is swollen so much that I can't straighten my leg and it really hurts to walk. With the swelling, I went to the walk-in clinic. It took 3 hours for me to be seen and Chase was home with Daddy. He slept most of the time and cried for awhile, but Daddy was able to calm him down. Even though he wasn't happy the whole time, he is managing better without me. He does fine in church nursery and during Cubbies until it's time to eat. Usually then he at least waits until the very end of class.

*much more interested in toys. Will watch the hanging animals from the car seat handle in the car. Will follow and bat at his jingle moose. Can't grab things consistently yet, but has grabbed hanging rings from his play gym... And promptly started crying because he couldn't figure out how to let it go.

*does NOT like any kind of airplane game. I barely lift him up, I don't even fully extend my arms and he tightens up and makes a scared face (exactly the same as Daniel) and starts to cry. 

*has started caring when he has a dirty diaper. He'll cry and no rocking or nursing will settle him. So if those fail and I didn't know he needed a change then I check and he is happy as can be after he's clean

*seems to have a "restless sleep" time when he first settles down in the sleeper. Usually this is around 9-10:30 for an hour or so. I peek at him often to make sure he isn't lying there awake, but he just breathes heavily, snores, and makes some little noises in his sleep. 

*9/27 was smiling at a lady in my PWOC study! This was the first time he has given his giant smiles to a non-family members of melted my heart and I am so thankful for another happy boy.

Today he has his check up. He is growing great and is smaller in height and weight than both his brothers at two months. He is very strong and the Dr. thinks he'll be rolling over soon. He did the worst with shots of the boys. With the oral vaccine he spit up a lot even though I was waiting to feed him until after all the shots. He was fussy on and off all afternoon, but would settle down to nap. He woke up after dinner screaming and I am had to send Daddy to the store for infant Tylenol since all we had was Motrin. He spit up a lot when I gave him Tylenol and was very unhappy. 

I love being a Boymom and Chase has been such a wonderful little baby. He is definitely a Mumma's boy like the other two and I am not complaining! He is already getting so big to me, but since he is so expressive now it's hard to truly miss the newborn phase. 

Jackson 4.5

What a difference six months can make! Jackson is now 4.5 years old and he has grown up so much over the summer! This photo was taken today and tells so much about my boy. He is still my joyful boy- he is genuinely such a happy child and that makes me so happy too. He loves to be with "friends" and started doing so much better in group settings. He listens better to adults and can communicate with his peers so much better and that just helps everything be more harmonious. He still loves letters, the letter L is his favorite, and he loves to spell and read now. He can spell from memory (including long words like contagious) and that is so impressive to me. He is wearing a shark shirt and sharks are his very favorite, followed closely by all other sea creatures. I can't post six months worth of photos, but this one from today (at Mornings with Mommy) is such a great representation of my oldest.

I love you so much, Jackson Matthew! Daddy and I are so proud of the little man you are becoming and how much effort and work you've put into self control. You are such a smart and empathetic little boy and I hope you continue to love to learn and love people.

(3/27-4/26)

*3/30 while snuggling with Daniel in the red chair and watching a movie, Jackson turned to me and asked for "baby Chase, please?" Melt my heart! I am so thankful that he loves babies. He will be such a wonderful big brother to Chase and since he is older he will be able to be my big helper. 

*4/2 birthday party fun! Jackson loved his pirate party and played nicely with his friends almost the entire time. Right when it was time for everyone to leave he had enough craziness and one of his friends kept pestering him for the toys he was playing with (even after he shared one with him) and after trying to walk away multiple times Jack bit him. So he doesn't automatically bite anymore, which is good; but we need to work on not biting at all. It is frustrating to me but I am thankful that Jack has learned to use his words and to share. Otherwise, he played with his friends or walked away and played by himself if he felt too overwhelmed.

*Definitely has begun trying to delay bedtime. Says he's so very sad, scared of non threatening objects like books, says he hears noises, wants a drink, forgot a toy, etc. 

*4/5 tried extended care at preschool for the first time. Jack has been asking to stay and this will help transition him to next year when he's all day MWF. (His teachers recommended staying with MWF next year since he'll most likely be going to regular kindergarten and not homeschooled) He did great all day! No issues! He wasn't fussy or acting tired even though it was a longer day. He didn't eat his lunch, but he might have filled up on snack. He asked for his goldfish and grapes when I buckled him into the car, so he knew what foods he had. He was resistant to lie down for his nap, but he eventually fell asleep.

*4/7 bit a kid at school. The kid punched him in the head and Jack just reacted with a bite immediately. He knew he did something wrong and wouldn't eat his snack afterwards. He couldn't stay at school the rest of the day so Matt went to sit with him since I was at the tire place waiting on new tires. We are going to make him a sticker chart for the rest of the year with prizes if he makes it to certain points. I looked up some ideas online to help with self control and self regulation. We've been playing Simon Says and other games where he listens to directions. We've been role playing what to do in certain situations. We've continued reading his feelings books and biting books. I'm really hoping this will be his last bite ever and he will begin to understand to control his impulses. It is frustrating but I know he will grow out of it, but since preschool has a bite limit it makes it more stressful. I'm wondering if a certain friend of ours kind of causes the biting bouts because when I think about it, the past 3 times he's had biting spurts after months of no biting it has been immediately during and then following play dates with that friend. So we may have to back off of those play dates. Anything that works! We took away his iPad for a couple days and I used that time to praise him extra when he made good choices when playing with Daniel and reminding him to tell a teacher if he has a problem at school.

*4/10 maybe we're coming out of our picky eating phase? Last night Jackson ate 4-5 chicken nuggets and today he ate his bowl of chili and 4-5 carrots! Before now he has lived off applesauce and goldfish for months.

*Bit at school on 4/14. The only reason I'm keeping track of this is so when we have our last bite someday we can truly celebrate! This was his 3rd bite at school so he is on suspension for the next week. No matter what else happens this school year he is welcome back next year since they know a lot of growth can happen over the summer. I talked to Ms. Noon, the director, and I feel very supported by the school and they know we have been working on resolving the issue. I did call the pediatrician to try to get a referral for evaluation ASAP and hopefully start therapy soon. I would like to do therapy a couple times a week if possible over the summer. 

*mid-April he has started coming out of his picky eating phase. He usually isn't hungry when the rest of us eat lunch or dinner, but 30-60 minutes later he will eat normal foods (sandwiches, chicken nuggets, pasta, pizza) instead of just snack foods (fruit, goldfish, pretzels, cereal). I am so thankful he is back to eating a larger variety of foods. Hopefully better nutrition will help him with sleep and behavior. 

*working on looking at people when they're talking and using listening ears. Talking about how to obey and disobey/ make good or bad choices. Jackson still doesn't understand "why" and doesn't tell us what happens when we ask him. Trying to talk through things with him as they happen to help him process conversational speech better. 

*4/20 I had asked one of his Sunday School teachers, Ms. Deb about his behavior and growth since she has had him in class for two years. She said she has seen so much improvement and he is getting better at listening and more open. He prefers one on one time and is so smart. He doesn't talk a lot in class. She does snacks for Cubbies on Wednesdays so she pulled me aside and told me Jackson very clearly said "I would like a red" when he asked for juice. He has never said anything like that before to her so he is getting more open. She wanted to encourage me that he is improving! She is so sweet and I am so thankful for her patience and love for Jackson.

*4/22 Jackson rushed out of his bedroom, ran into the bathroom, and went pee pee! He pulled down his pull up and didn't go in it at all! This is the first time he's woken up in his sleep (nap or night) and gone potty! Maybe nighttime potty training will happen on its own! 

*In Sunday School they said he seemed a little sad and had a couple meltdowns. We asked him if he was a little sad and he said, "no, not little sad. Big sad! But not crying." It was so sad! He couldn't tell us why he was feeling sad though. 

*4/26 arrived at preschool to find out he had been dismissed for the remainder of the year in hopes he would be successful next year. It is hard for me to understand as he hadn't bitten 4 times, which is the school policy; but I appreciate them allowing him to return next year. I am hopeful that we can get speech therapy and behavior therapy over the summer so hopefully he will have a better school year next year. He was very sad when we had to leave and kept saying he wasn't naughty. It broke my heart and did make me frustrated that they forgot to call me to notify me ahead of time. Hopefully this will give us some extra mommy-Jackson time before the baby is born and he will continue to grow and mature.

(4/27-5/26)

*I can see so much growth in Jackson! He has been having a couple very emotional weeks and I haven't been able to pinpoint what the cause is. Maybe the new baby, but he's excited for that as he loves babies. Maybe he understands more of what Matt and I are saying when we talk about his struggles- we are being more careful what we say in front of him now. Maybe other kids are being mean since Jackson does like to play differently sometimes. But whatever it is, he has needed more snuggles and hugs and reassurance. He's been sleeping with me the past couple nights and he has slept very soundly with no nightmares, which he had been having for a couple weeks prior. I have embraced his extra emotions and needs and it was just what he needed. He is speaking more clearly and talking about things we've done in the past (which was a concern for me) and just today (4/27) he was calling my friend, Natalie, "Stefanie"... Which is the wrong name, but he's beginning to remember other adults' names instead of calling them "mommy" (which he differentiates from calling me "Mumma"). We had an Awana carnival tonight and he did so well at listening to me and staying by me instead of running around. He wasn't super interested in many of the games, but he did play some of them and had fun. He is growing and learning and it may not be at the same pace of other kids his age, but he can read books on his own and knows so much about sea creatures and fish. So different, but not worse.

*5/1 within the past week Jackson has been talking about a "scapanorychus" and I just thought he was trying to quote something and I couldn't understand him. Wrong. He showed me the next time he saw a picture of a scapanorychus, it is an extinct shark. Of course. Now I should never doubt him but just assume he is talking about some sea creature. I ordered him a set of prehistoric sharks including a scapanorychus for the road trip up to MI. I told him they were coming and he can't stop talking about it! My little marine biologist. 

*drove to MI 5/4-5/8. It was 9.5 hours on the drive up. Jackson did not go potty in his pull-up the whole time! He told us when he needed to go and would hold it until we could stop. We only stopped 3 times total! I was so impressed. On the drive back it ended up being 10 hours since I told Matt to take a wrong turn. Jackson lasted until the very end, when we were passing Fort Campbell, before going potty in in his pull up. He told us he had to go but we told him he could go in his pull-up or hold it until we got home since we were so close. He kept saying "no! Pee pee on potty! No pee pee in the car!" I felt so bad because I could tell he was trying to hold it. When he finally went he held up his hand and spanked himself. I told him it was ok and he did a great job today, but he wouldn't believe me. We almost stopped at a gas station for him but we were ready to be home. 

*5/11 he had a ribbon tied in a small circle so the two ends hung down. He said it was an octopus. I asked how many legs were missing. He thought about it. I asked how many legs an octopus has- he said 8. I asked how many legs his octopus has- he said 2. I held up 8 fingers and said that his octopus only has 2, so I put down two fingers, and asked how many were left. He said 6 immediately. I haven't worked too hard on math with Jackson, but I do think it's time to start. He can count at least to 30 consistently and I heard him count to 100 once, he can count items with no problem, and knows all about shapes and how many sides they have. 

*5/12 had a Dr. Appt to evaluate for therapy and ASD. The Dr. doesn't think he has ASD since he is getting better at managing himself on his own, but says it's a possibility if therapy doesn't work. She referred us for occupational therapy. Hopefully that office will contact us in the next week so we can get started ASAP. I would like to make the most of this summer with therapy for Jackson so he can be successful in pre-k and then continue therapy throughout the next school year so he can be ready to go to Kindergarten. The Dr. said that he is exceptionally bright so when we look at Kindergarten to ask the schools if they have supplemental work they provide or if I could send something for Jack to work on so he doesn't get bored. 

*5/15 Jackson didn't want to leave Sunday School today. We have all had colds and are tired, so we went to teach Sunday School and then came home. Jackson cried a lot when we left. He had been sad all morning in class too though. He fell asleep for an early nap shortly after we got home and had a much better afternoon and evening. When we got ready for bed he said he liked Sunday School and didn't like Jackson's house. I asked him who his friends were in Sunday School and he named some of the kids. Then he said they had story time and sang songs, he started to sing Jesus loves me. Then he told me how Jesus and Peter went for a walk in the water, but Peter didn't want to put his feet in. He started talking about the crucifixion story then, but that is the most he's ever talked about his day accurately. It is so encouraging to see him growing and developing. Maybe speech therapy would have helped earlier, but I just want to let him be a little boy and grow at his own pace. I am thankful for who he is and how smart he is. 

*beginning to know what he wants to eat and is able to tell us. He has asked for snacks for a long time, but now he is starting to eat regular meals with us and knows what he wants. He asked for soup on the way home from church. When we got home he still asked for soup. Eventually he clarified "tomato soup" and he ate it right up after I made it for him! While I am so thankful he is eating meals now, if he has strong preferences that aren't what the rest of us are eating it may prove difficult! But very, very thankful for his developing speech and communication. 

*5/26 Jackson looked around the room and said "4 peoples". So Daddy began asking him questions. "How many Jackson's?" 1. How many Mumma's?" 1. "How many boys?" 3. "If there are 3 boys and 1 Mumma, how many people?" Fff... Stop and think for a minute to himself (not counting us or using his fingers, all in his head)... Four! I had already planned to start simple math with him this summer so he can keep up with his growing reading skills, but he is already well on his way to understanding basic addition!

*5/26 Jackson does well with repeating prayers, but doesn't make up his own prayers very much. I have been trying to get him to understand talking to Jesus and saying what we're thankful for. Tonight he prayed at bedtime and was thankful for "sharks, whales, dolphins, giant squid, and mackerels." No surprise there! 

(5/27-6/26)

*some of the cute phrases Jackson uses: "sure I can!", "you betcha!". He is normally such a good helper but I just love his sweet phrases that accompany his helping spirit!

*5/31 started "summer home preschool". Planning on lots of reading, writing, art, workbooks for listening and following directions, and fun activities! I want Jack to read one book a week and he did so well reading the first part of his first book. Today (6/1) he was randomly reading another book and turned to me and said "we love to read!" I hope that never changes and as he grows he continues to love reading and learning. 

*Daddy was reading Teeth Are Not For Biting to Daniel because he picked it up and brought it to Daddy. Jackson was sitting there listening and he said "You get prehistoric sharks taken away, that's what happens!" Because we have taken his prehistoric sharks away from him before for biting! Hopefully he's beginning to remember and understand more so that in the moment he can stop and think about what to do and not act on impulse. 

*began Occupational Therapy with Miss Kristen at More Than Words. He seems to do fine with her and I explained most of his struggles is with groups of kids. So hopefully they can do some joint therapy with other kids in the future. When we went for his second appt the doors were still locked from lunch and he said "Where's Kristen?" I am so thankful he seems to enjoy going and hopefully she will help him learn self regulation and will have some more ideas for me to use at home with him. 

*went to a Strongbonds Marriage Retreat in Bowling Green. We arrived Thursday and had sessions from 3-6 pm. Friday we had sessions from 9 am-12pm and 1:30-3:30 pm, then a date night time from 5-9 pm. Saturday we had a closing session at 9 am that didn't last too long. Each of those times the boys were in onsite childcare provided by CYSS. I was worried they wouldn't do well for that long of periods and with weird naptimes and different snacks etc. Jackson pretty much skipped his naps every day. I was worried he would get fussy in the evenings, but he loved the workers (Ms. Liz and Ms. LeDetra) and played well with the other kids. I think it helped that there were a good number of older kids for him to play with and no young kids who would purposefully push his buttons. He didn't have any meltdowns and behaved very well! After the first session he would cry a couple tears when we dropped him off and would pull his shirt up over his eyes to wipe them away. But he would be happy and telling us bye when he chose a toy to play with. He is growing up so much and I am so proud of how he behaved this weekend!

*6/13 while doing some summer school today, we were working out of the book on following directions. Part of the worksheet was to draw a bow on top of a cake and two acorns on a picture of squirrels. Jack looked at the pictures and tried to draw them. I was so impressed with this as he never used to even scribble when I asked him to. Several of my goals for summer school were based on preschool and pre-k assessments I found online but he can do so much more than I thought (like patterns and matching). I just needed to give him time to learn to follow directions and to want to do projects.

*6/25 took Jackson to his first movie at the theater! Finding Dory! I had planned to save his movie theater experience for this movie when I saw it was being made two years ago. He was a little apprehensive of the dark theater and the loud previews (some of which were a little scary), and he kept saying "No Finding Dory! Go to Jackson's house!" But once the short came on at the beginning he settled down and he LOVED the movie. He spend most of the time on my lap, which was uncomfortable with my 34 weeks Preggo belly. When he sat in his own seat it kept folding on him so I had to hold it down with my leg. He had been asking to see Finding Dory for weeks. 

(6/27-7/26)

*has been doing so well in therapy. His therapist, Kristen, says he's always been pretty mild with her but she can see improvements. He knows what to expect now and that helps. He loves going to therapy and is always sad when we have to leave. That's the only time Kristen says he acts up. She gives him warnings when it's getting close to time to leave but he still fusses or drags his feet. 

*I have been stricter with Jackson lately and not as patient as I could be. It's hard to know if he needs this kind of discipline or if I am stamping out his spirit. He seems to be responding, but I don't want him to obey out of fear or because I yelled. I know I would try to reason with him too much before so I think I need to find a good medium. I have been sending him to time out on his bed more often and that seems to help him think about what he did. 

*7/1 we took the boys to Land Between the Lakes to swim. The beach was rocky, but Jackson loved it! He is like a little fish! When we get him in swim lessons I know he'll pick it up quickly. He walked out up to his neck on his own and wanted to go out further with us. It surprised me that he loved the water so much as he usually is apprehensive about new things and likes to feel secure with Matt or I.

*Jackson has started remembering things we've done recently and things that are coming up. We told him he was going to Grammy and Papa's house (for Mark's wedding) and he has been talking about it for two weeks! He knows who he's going to see there and is so excited to have a special trip with Daddy and fly on an airplane.

*his time out spot is his bed or on the stairs if Daniel is sleeping. He understands about time out and sometimes will yell or back talk when he's walking to sit out, but will sit there until we tell him to get up. He calms down quickly and knows why he was punished and what he should do differently next time. I've started using the 123 Magic method with him but it's slower than with Daniel since we have to unlearn other discipline methods. I do think it's working with whining and yelling though.

*we have been reading one level 1 book a week and Jackson often will read other books from the shelf. I am so impressed with his ability to read. He sounds out words he doesn't know and once he learns a new word he remembers it for next time. He enjoys reading and I am so thankful for that and hope he never loses that passion.

*I've continued to try to talk and reason with Jackson every day. He has slowly become more conversational, but still often won't know what to say so will begin quoting something or talking about fish. He had improved so much though. I love watching him grow and learn and put into practice what he learns in therapy and at home.

*he hasn't had any issues recently in Sunday School or at PWOC. That gives me hope for this next year of preschool. He'll be on probation and unfortunately only has a one bite chance. I'm really hoping that is completely behind us as he hasn't bitten in a long time and has become so much better at using his words or asking for help.

*eats so many goldfish! He had been eating slightly better overall and trying new foods, but he prefers goldfish or cheese slices the large majority of the time. His favorite foods seem to be PB&J, Mac n cheese, pizza, and tacos. Even with those though, sometimes he won't eat it when I make it.

*went to MI with Daddy for Uncle Mark's wedding. We talked it up like an adventure to go in Daddy's new car, ride on airplanes, and see family. He did so well and listened to Daddy and was super interested in the airplanes. He was a tired at the rehearsal since Daddy had to wake him up from his nap, but he calmed down and walked down the aisle eventually. He is definitely growing up and maturing and I'm glad he doesn't need me all the time, but it also makes me a little sad selfishly. At the wedding he walked down the aisle perfectly, sat with my Dad, and fell asleep for the rest of the ceremony! My dad took him home after that and he played with Calvin. When they got home the next day Jackson was so excited to see Mumma and show me his new sharks from Uncle Mark and Aunt Rebecca.

*Lately for bedtime I'll tuck Jackson in and say his prayers with him, then go over and lie with Daniel until he falls asleep. Most of the time Jackson is still awake but almost asleep when I get up to leave. He holds his arm out of his covers and gives me a hug and kiss and says "night Mumma" and I tell him I love him and he says it back. I just love this little moment between us and knowing he falls asleep knowing I love him.

(7/27-8/26)

*Has adjusted so well to having Baby Chase home. He loves to hold him and says "he is sooooo cute!" He is able to help get things I need if I'm nursing the baby so that is nice. 

*we have been more firm with Jackson for discipline since he understands more. Sometimes I can still see he doesn't understand what we want, but mostly he does now. He gets chances to listen and obey, but if he hits he goes into time out immediately. If he has had multiple chances for things he is warned that a spanking is coming. He knows when he is being naughty but he realizes it after the fact. We just have to get him to think things through before he acts.

*8/9 piggybacking on the last point- I thought about it today and Jackson has really been responding well to our discipline. Sometimes he will cry, sometimes he will yell, sometimes he will argue... But he is learning. The past two days he hasn't hit Daniel and that was what he had been going in time out for the most. He is doing much better at using his inside voice- but this one is hard because Daniel is often super loud so Jackson matches his volume. When we put him in time out he sometimes huffs as he makes his way to his bed, but within seconds of sitting down he is calm and pretty back to normal. Time out for him isn't about sitting and thinking about what he did as much as it is a break from the situation for him to calm down. I leave him in time out for 4 minutes, but he could probably get up after 1 minute. I ask him what he did to go on time out and what he should do differently the next time. So while I feel like I've been stamping on his little spirit- he is still my happy, joyful boy and he is learning. Both Matt and I make sure to praise his good choices and to interact with Jackson lots throughout the day. Books say that for every discipline comment to give the child two positive comments. I think it should be a 1:10 ratio honestly. Positive reinforcement works so well for Jackson. 

*8/15 I have been a little worried about Pre-K since if he bites one time then he is dismissed. He has grown so much so hopefully that won't happen, but I still worry. I try to pray over him, the situation, and my worry. I realized how little time I've really spent with Jackson since Chase was born. Daniel has needed extra attention since he quit nursing cold turkey and Chase is my cling on and wants to eat all the time. That limits when I can play with Jackson. I usually tell him to go upstairs to play by himself. He does and he plays well by himself, but I can see that it is starting to make him sad. I didn't even realize I was doing it! Now that I know, I am going to make more of an effort to pay specific attention to him and to play with him when the baby lets me lie him down. 

*8/16 first day of Pre-K! He is going to Beautiful Savior Lutheran Preschool again, TTH from 8:30-2:30. It is a long school day, but I think it will help him prepare for full days next year in Kindergarten. His teachers are Miss Noon and Miss Goethes. There are 17 kids in his class, which seems like so many and I hope doesn't overwhelm him. I tried to keep myself busy all day, but I kept looking at the clock. Daniel asked "where's brother?" as soon as we got in the car. He kept asking for him and looking for him throughout the day. Jackson had a GREAT day! He made good choices and his teachers were very pleased. I hope it keeps up and he can continue to do well this school year. Last year was rough for me, but I am learning to appreciate my boy for who he is and not for ordinary expectations. He is growing and learning at his own pace and I am learning how to best assist him. He is loving and kind and has been doing so well with self control and paying attention lately. I am so proud of him and cannot wait to see how much he grows up this next year. 

(8/27-9/26)

*I've been given perspective into Jackson recently. Alyssa, our babysitter, said that she loves Jackson's imagination. He will pretend the most random things are toys and she said a lot of other kids in Sunday school won't do that or won't even want to play with actual toys. They get bored. I had thought Jackson had a poor imagination since he mostly quotes things, but I hadn't thought about the fact that he does enjoy playing and he does imagine in a different way than I would expect. Then my friend, Stefanie, commented on how mild and quiet one of his fits was. She said compared to her kids Jackson was so quiet while he fussed and he got over it within seconds instead of drawing it out. That is so good to hear because Jackson has seemed more difficult towards Matt and I recently so we think he is acting out so strongly since it's new to us. All kids have their struggles so it nice to have things put in perspective by others so I am fair to Jackson. 

*9/1 I was able to pick up Jackson from preschool while the two little boys stayed home with Daddy. I asked his teachers what kinds of bad behavior he has at school. He has been doing so much better using his words when he's frustrated (at home too) but sometimes he tries to hit, but usually not. If he gets toys taken away (like trying to bring classroom toys onto the playground) he will yell at the teacher. I am thankful he hasn't been having trouble physically hurting the other kids- and especially no biting. Jackson knows that "good boys gets m&ms and naughty boys get no m&ms". 

*9/6 I tentatively am saying that I think our biting phase is officially over! It has been at least 3 months since Jackson last bit Daniel and around 5 months since he bit another kid. He has developed cognitively so much more over the summer and that helps the situation immensely. I often "forget" to worry about him when he is at preschool, which is such a blessing. I still have my moments, but I say a prayer and move on. It was a good 9 month stretch of biting (usually with months in between bites- so not biting consistently that whole time) and it was difficult. Matt and I would get frustrated and try various methods of discipline. It divided some of my friendships, but overall I think strengthened me as an individual and a parent. It was stressful and seemed to last years rather than months. But now that it is hopefully behind us I can look back at it as a challenge, not unlike the everyday challenges I face while parenting. I am so thankful that I can look back and have learned things about Jackson, parenting, and communication (both with Jackson and with other parents). 

*9/7 first Cubbies of the new year! I am in Jackson's class this year. I was so proud of how much better he is doing with following directions and trying to play with other kids (as opposed to solitary play). I was surprised that when he played with blocks he made them into L's and got frustrated when the other kids didn't understand that he was making L's. He also wanted an L that was on the door to our room. He hasn't been interested in L's lately so it surprised me that that letter stuck out to him so much.

*9/9 Jackson has been reacting to not getting as much attention lately. I don't think he realizes what he's doing or that it's because we don't have as much time for him. He has been acting overall more sad, not as happy, more timid, and he'll ask us to play with him more often. He has been saying "Mumma, will you play with me?" multiple times a day and he never used to ask that. I try to play with him while I'm holding or feeding the baby, but sometimes I can't play with him how he wants. He hasn't been naughtier and that has been a blessing. Last night he woke up multiple times crying really hard. He told me that he was tired and he told Matt that he was crying. The third time Matt just brought him to me in bed and I let him stay the rest of the night. He needs to feel loved and if that means he spends one night (or a couple if he keeps crying) in my bed then that is perfectly fine. I try to talk about his sea creatures with him and give him lots of positive affirmation throughout the day. I try to give him extra hugs and kisses and snuggles when my hands are free. Thankfully, he has matured so much over the summer so he understands why Matt and I can't always play with him, but it makes me so sad that he isn't overall as happy as he used to be. I think it was the same when we brought Daniel home, but he loves Daniel now and I hope he grows to love our bigger family and our new normal.

*9/12 Jackson woke up and Matt had already left for work and the rest of us were sleeping in my bed. I hear Jackson in the living room "is anyone there?" Then he came into the bedroom. Then he was telling me about Pete the cat (from Mickey) and Tirian walked up to him. He pet Tirian and was like "a baby Pete the cat!"

*9/16 J and D have been listening to a vegetable song on YouTube kids a lot lately. It has a different vegetable for each letter of the alphabet and it says a little bit about them (like vitamins or what they taste like). Jackson has been naming all the veggies at the store for awhile, but now he's asked for spinach and peas when we've had them and actually eaten a regular size helping of them! I am shocked! He's been doing much better overall with eating and has definitely been filling out some because of it. 

*9/22 Mumma has really bad poison ivy and all the boys notice. Walking is painful and I mostly sit on the couch with my leg propped up or iced. Jackson notices that I can't play as much and he hasn't been complaining, but he woke up extra early to come snuggle in bed with me and then he was tired when we left for preschool. Thankfully he had a great day at preschool, but he was overly tired at bedtime. He was crying and Daddy took him to choose something special to take to bed. He chose... A pair of Matt's old boxers! What a silly boy, bit he stopped crying and went right to bed. 

It is so encouraging to read back brought the specific changes Jackson has undergone in the past six months. I expect there to be significant changes in my little boys, but it is a little more surprising how much maturity happens between 4 and 4.5. I am so excited to see how the next half year stretches Jackson! He is turning into such a well-mannered little person in addition to his sweet spirit. I feel like I have a fairly accurate view of Jackson, his strengths and weaknesses and that is helping him succeed and me succeed as a parent. I am so blessed to have him as my firstborn and to have mercy as I learn to parent.

Postpartum: Round Three

While I don't plan on being pregnant again, I still wanted to keep track of my postpartum healing in case we hange our minds. I mean, we weren't planning on birthing a third child until we changed our minds! So you never know!

*Oh my cramps! Uterine contractions continue during recovery and they are no joke! These were worse than my previous recoveries and I took Percocet at the hospital when previously I had only taken Motrin. At home I told Matt they felt like what I imagine getting stabbed in the abdomen would feel like. I try to massage the area while it is contracting and it is so hard and painful! 

*Less overall bleeding than before. The nurses say that the more pregnancies you have the more your body know what to do and it gets more efficient at healing.

*Milk came in 3 days after birth... Rock hard. I tried not to pump but I had to relieve even a little of the pressure so I could sleep! Didn't do much good but it will pass soon. Chase seems to enjoy the milk.

*losing pound by pound. Excited to do some exercises at home to help cinch my waist once I feel like I've healed.

*8/11 able to wear my polka dot chambray shorts! They are just slightly too big regularly. They fit fairly well right now so I'm hoping my other shorts will fit soon!

*having some soreness over a couple of my lower vertebrae. I assume this is where the epidural was administered. It doesn't hurt all the time, but if I massage that area I feel like I have a bruise and it is very tender. Hopefully that goes away and doesn't persist or worsen with time. 

*Two weeks postpartum: some blood while wiping and some in pads, but about 3/4 of the day/night I would say my bleeding has stopped.  Mostly feel back to normal with a little pooch. It feels like everything has gone back to normal size down there and my stitches have dissolved.

*very emotional! Cry over commercials that aren't even supposed to be sad/emotional! My face has been having some mild breakouts too. I'll be ready for my hormones to settle once again! 

*8/16 wore the new pair of jeans Matt got me for my birthday! I have a muffin top, but I'm able to button them in comfort and if I wear a loose top it's not noticeable. Hopefully by the time I start exercising I will be close to my normal shape. I want to wait until all the bleeding has stopped before doing my regular at home exercises. I will probably wait until after my 6 week check up to do my workout DVDs just to be sure I'm all healed. 

*8/27 no more spotting! So thankful for feel mostly healed! Where my stitches were has felt a little sore lately, but they healed within the past week so I'm hoping nothing has compromised that site. I am 10 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight and I plan to begin light exercises this week to try to knock out those lbs. 

*9/4 the past couple days I've had some swelling along my stitches site. The stitches have all dissolved but it is agitated. I also have been having some discharge that may be due to more exertion on my part. 

*9/8 had my postpartum Dr. appt. He asked if I needed stitches because the site had healed so well. I had begun bleeding again a couple days prior. The Dr. said that where the placenta was forms a scab and sometimes that tears off and will start a rebleed. This can happen over the next couple months. So I will wait until it stops again before beginning exercise. I have begun abs work though. 

Overall, I feel great! I do want my pooch belly gone ASAP, but I know it takes some time. Nursing has continued to go well. I feel very tired, much more tired than when the first two were babies. But, of course, there are three of them to keep up with now! I think we've all fallen into our new schedule. The big boys have been more fussy lately, which I think is due to less attention. Both of them have been needing more snuggles recently. I try to accommodate them as much as possible. It hurts my mumma heart that they feel neglected, but they truly do love their baby brother, so I know it will be wonderful in the long run for them. 

My Three Special Boys

I'm sitting in the big boys' room waiting for the middle one to fall asleep. The oldest is snuggled in his bed with all his best stuffed friends and the baby is curled up on my lap. In this time I've been doing some thinking and praying over each of my boys and some words jumped out at me for each of them.

As I prayed over Jackson I thanked God for his intellect and love. Jackson loves to learn and is so bright, I pray this continues as he grows. He is so passionate about his interests and he has such great potential. Jackson also loves people. This is interesting as he has some mild social anxiety. He may not like big groups, but he loves being with people and playing. He is quick to give hugs and kisses to most anyone and calls other kids (that he doesn't know) "friends". I am so thankful for his sweet, loving spirit and I hope that never gets quenched. 

When I prayed over Daniel I thanked God for his perceptiveness and joy. Daniel observes so much. He learns by mimicking others and he is exceptionally good at figuring things out. He is our little sponge and I cannot wait to see what his specific interests turn out to be since he follows Jackson around and plays with him mostly now. Almost everything Daniel does is with a big smile. He is a very happy child and he is ready for anything. his joy is contagious and we often just sit and smile in wonder at his big heart.

For Chase, I just thanked God for his existence. Never would I have dreamed to have a third boy. We had planned to have two and adopt one, so when we had two boys we planned to adopt a little girl. When we decided to get pregnant again we were open to either gender. I am so thankful for this new little person and new bond I have. Being a Boymom is so special and there is nothing quite like it. He is my little cling-on, snugglebug right now and I am so very thankful.

I have three very different boys, but they are all wonderful and such a blessing to me.