February/March Literature

I guess that past two days have been catch-up-on-blogging days for me. Now that the house is setup and the baby is getting back into his routine, I feel free to sit down and write every so often. It's nice that baby is old enough to play by himself sometimes (as long as I'm in the room! I go upstairs for one minute and I hear the puffing of my child and he books it to the baby gate, the rattling as he shakes the gate trying to open it, and then "Naaaa mum mum mum!" which is his lovely way of saying, "No! Mama!" While it is a bit ridiculous that he is that attached... it is also quite endearing to hear and then to see his face light up when he sees me coming back downstairs). So I sit on the couch and read blogs or write on my own while Jack plays with toys or reads his books. Sigh. 

So, with all the packing, traveling, and moving we did in these months- I haven't been able to read nearly as much as I would have liked. My husband actually made the comment the other day that he hadn't seen me reading much. I was able to read two books in that timeframe though. 

The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley is a must read for those mommies who, like me, just cannot let their children "cry it out". So many people told me to do it. I think the longest I let him cry was 40 minutes. Nope, just not for us. I know people say that there are no negative effects, but Elizabeth explains it quite well. She says that children cry because they want comfort from their mommies. Of course, there are other reasons why children cry, but once they begin crying all they want in comfort. When they are infants, they are used to getting that comfort readily. Through crying it out the children learn that instead of comfort they will face loneliness, fear, and abandonment. Watching my child on the video monitor as he cried was horrible. Not just sad, but my baby would look around for me, would begin to shake as his fear grew, would cough as his tears would stream down his face, his face would change from just normal crying to terror. Why should my child be subjected to terror, even for one night, when I could hold him and snuggle him and calm him? As soon as I walked in the room he would reach for me and I would hold him close. He would snuggle against me and grab my hair for comfort. It would take him awhile to completely calm down from crying so hard, but he would begin to calm down immediately. 

Some think it is weakness when a mother can't let her child cry it out. I think it is a strength. I am not poo-pooing on those mothers who are able to successfully help their children sleep through the night with this method. But for me, it is strength. I sacrifice my sleep so that my child can receive a hug or an extra snack. I sacrifice my leisure time so that my child can know that Mommy is there. I choose to be available for my child. He's not sleeping 12 hours at night yet? Is that a problem? Would I like it if my child slept solidly for 12 hours at night? Certainly. But I'm not going to rush him to that point. 

With the steps outlined by Elizabeth Pantley, Jack and I have been working towards him sleeping the entire night in his own bed and hopefully sleeping longer stretches at night. Jack had been sleeping fairly long stretches at night while we were co-sleeping. Now that he knows he's supposed to sleep in his crib he wakes more frequently. I think he needs reassurance that I am still there. I go in to him and get him back to sleep. Hopefully once he is used to this he will sleep longer since he knows I will always come get him when he wakes. 

As I read the book I seriously would think, "This woman is like my kindred spirit!" Things she would share from her own personal experience were almost identical to Jackson and my story. That was very reassuring. I plan to read some of her other books as well. 

The second book I read (well, I am actually going to be finishing it this weekend) was The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis. This book isn't very long, but if read correctly it can take awhile. When I'm reading a Lewis I want to make sure I take the time to appreciate what he is saying. Sometimes I'll read a paragraph and have to put the book down. I sit there and try to fully grasp what I have just read. It is eye opening. It is life changing. He gives me those "Now I see!" moments. Clarification. 

This book deals with why we, humans, suffer pain in life. I have underlined quite a few thoughts in this book (which is a big deal for me, I hate marking up my books unless they are textbooks) and had thought I would share a few once I wrote this post... but I am not going to. I will simply say, you need to read this book yourself! It's not a light read so don't try to read it too quickly or when you will be distracted. While some pain still bothers me, starving children for example, it now makes more sense than when others would say, "Well, God chooses to give mercy. It is a gift. It is not deserved. So those children do not deserve mercy any more than you do. Just be thankful to have mercy and to not be starving. This is an opportunity to share what you have with those starving children." No, C.S Lewis does not offer simple explanations to the problem of pain. Because it is most definitely not simple. But he explains it in a way that it is understandable. 

That book has been life changing for me. I am glad I didn't read it when I was younger because I wouldn't have fully appreciated it. I would still have had "A-ha moments", but I understand life a little better now.

In my last post on literature I had mentioned that a work of Dickens was next. Indeed, I began reading David Copperfield. I plan to finish that this month. It is on my Kindle and I still haven't gotten over my love for physical books. Both the two I did read were physical books.