When I feel like this I'm usually feeling under appreciated or am playing the comparison game.
When that happens what helps? Counting my blessings. So it's high time for another thankfulness post.
Today I am thankful for:
*An understanding husband. He understands that just because I have selfish feelings doesn't mean I am a horrible person. He understands that my little frustrations build up until they spew all out (all over him) and I get worked up and upset and then am perfectly happy and content again. He understands that when I am tired or when my neck hurts that I am going to be in a much worse mood. He understands that sometimes I just have to be ridiculous and have my way to make myself feel better. And he still loves me.
*The sweetest child. Lately I've been hearing stories from other moms on issues they have with their children: screaming non stop, biting, hitting, etc. I know Jackson is an exceptional child, but I am so very thankful for his sweet disposition, calm temperament, and genuine love for people. While he does have his "naughty" moments, he wants to please Matt and I so much and there's truly nothing a hug cannot fix. He gives us hugs and kisses freely and always wants to snuggle. He loves to share, loves to laugh, and loves to be a good helper. He makes waking up every morning not so bad (I am most definitely not a morning person) and my 24/7 full time job the most enjoyable, rewarding experience.
*A fenced in backyard. When I was still getting ready for the day (tea brewed but makeup and hair not done) Jackson decided he wanted to go outside. He brought me his shoes and kept pushing me towards the door. Matt was busy at the moment so we let Jackson go play by himself. We left the back door open so he could come and go as he pleased and opened all the blinds so we could watch him play. He explored the back yard and the puddles from the rain and thankfully didn't get too wet. I was able to finish getting ready in peace (and not have little hands trying to grab my makeup brushes etc) and enjoy my cup if tea. Jackson was happy and safe in our back yard. It was a lovely morning.
*Sunshine. The warmer weather has been so welcome this spring! I generally enjoy cooler weather, but now having child the warm weather and sunshine is as good as a close friend. We can go for walks, play in the yard, go to the park. It is so refreshing and helps get out Jackson's toddler energy. I am so thankful for the sunshine and the happiness it brings.
*Anticipation. I had 3 or more contractions every hour this morning. I was hopeful, very hopeful. Some of then we're stop what you're doing, can't move, breathe through it strong. After lunch the contractions came less frequently and I knew baby wasn't quite on his way yet. I am so ready for him to be born and I haven't felt too anxious yet about delivery. There is a part of me that still fears all the "what ifs" of things that could go wrong, but they are mild concerns. More just thought processes for what I would so in the given situations. But overall I am just so excited to meet our new little man and I am confident that birth and delivery will happen just right and Daniel and I will be happy and healthy. I eagerly anticipate when my contractions grow closer and closer together and stronger and stronger. It could happen tonight... It could happen in five weeks. I am ready and prepared for when it does and I can hardly wait!
*Grey's Anatomy. Yup. I am thankful for Grey's Anatomy. It provides a break from the real world. I have not been disappointed this season and I am glad I didn't give up on the show when most everyone else did. I still love the characters and am hoping (along with everyone else) that Sandra Oh changes her mind and decides to stay with the show longer. But until then, I will enjoy my weekly dose of Grey's.
I have so many more things I am thankful for, but today those things gave me a happy heart. I am finally learning the true meaning of being joyful even while not being happy. I know the difference but putting it into practice has never been a strength of mine. But I am learning to always be joyful. But days like today when I can be joyful and happy? That is a blessing. It helps cute my selfish heart and selfish thoughts.
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