There's a lot of hardship with a miscarriage. One of the hardest parts, personally, has been waiting in anticipation for another positive test. Waiting for those two pink lines, the cross mark, or the "pregnant" to appear on the at home pregnancy test.
I read several message boards regarding early pregnancy and miscarriage. A lot say that conception occurred within the first month post miscarriage. While another pregnancy will not replace the pregnancy I lost, another pregnancy will give me so much joy. I hope for another child and a sibling for Jackson. So the first month has come and gone and I have taken many at home pregnancy tests. I have tried a few different brands and my husband can't believe it when he sees yet another test thrown away in the trash. But I just can't help myself. My monthly hasn't arrived (which could just be my body normalizing post miscarriage anyways) and I have had some pregnancy symptoms... but all the tests have come back definitely negative. Seriously though, why are pregnancy symptoms and menstrual symptoms so similar?
So here I sit... a little over 5 weeks post miscarriage and waiting. Waiting helps build patience and patience is a virtue, right? Plus, it gives me more time with just Jackson, which is something I will never get back after baby #2 comes along. Waiting gives me something more specific to pray for. Waiting gives me time to hope. But man, waiting is difficult!
So as we sit and wait and plan and hope and dream and take test after test, know that you are not alone! You are surrounded by sisters who also are waiting, hoping, and praying for a sweet little bundle of cells sooner rather than later. I have complete confidence that God knows when the best time for a new baby to come into our lives. I just wish foresight was as clear as hindsight!
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