Jack has been sleeping soundly in his crib for 2 hours. This never happens. Which is why I am writing post three for the day. I also caught up on the blogs I read... it has been over a month since I read my blog list? Wow.
So, we just passed Easter. Easter is one of my most favorite days of the year. I don't think we'll do Easter baskets for our kids. They may do Easter egg hunts with friends or something, but I don't think a basket is necessary. Not when the significance of the day is so much more important. This year, Jack's Easter present was a Little People Easter book. We gave it to him on his birthday though so we could read it before Easter.
Easter is probably my favorite holiday because when you stop and think about it, really stop and think about it, you can't breathe. You can't move. You can't properly think. All you can do is be amazed. Stand in awe. Then, you feel the weight of it all. You feel your guilt. You feel His pain as you nail him to the cross each and every day with your sinfulness. But then, oh then, you remember. Grace. Love. He is Risen! He casts away your sins. He has conquered. If that doesn't cause tears to form in your eyes and your throat to constrict with emotion, then we should have a talk. A sit down at home, no distractions, with a cup of coffee and plenty of refills kind of talk. Because it is amazing. His love is amazing. Sometimes I think we over use words, or just don't fully grasp the meaning of the words in the first place. Amazing, awesome, wonderful... these things perfectly describe our Lord and Savior. But we use them to describe a movie, a job interview, a piece of cake.
Anyways, I wanted to keep this short and sweet otherwise it would be very lengthy and get into theological and possibly political issues. So, Easter from the perspective of a Mom.
First, I am so thankful that Jesus became man and sacrificed himself so that my son, Jackson, can one day have eternal life. That my son can have salvation. That my son does not need to pay for his own sins, but he need just to believe and trust in Jesus. I am thankful that God willingly sacrificed his own Son for my son's sake. Could I do that for someone as horrible as myself (we're being honest here. We're not comparing to the sins of others. I am a sinner- I am a horrible person)? Absolutely not! Would I be willing to sacrifice my son for someone else? Would I be willing to sacrifice my son for my own sake? Absolutely not. I cannot even fathom that idea. The idea itself makes me sick. Makes me hate whoever would put me in that position (then I think of Abraham and how on earth could he have been willing to sacrifice his son to the Lord? I think I would begin to doubt the Lord at that point because how could He ask for such a thing? But that's another post altogether). But God sacrificed His son for me and for my son. That is amazing. That is unfathomable. That is extremely humbling.
Second, I think of Mary (mother of Jesus). I think of Mary. My heart breaks for Mary. At this time did she truly believe that her son was the Messiah? You would think so because she knew (absolutely without question knew) the facts about her son's conception. She had seen and heard the angels throughout his lifetime. She had watched his ministry. But there are accounts that make you wonder if she fully understood that her son was the Messiah. That he truly was the Son of God. But let's say she understood all of this. As she watched or heard of his trial, as she watched him being flogged, as she saw him carrying his cross, as she saw his hanging on the tree, and as she saw him being cut down... would any of that matter? Would she care that her son was sacrificed for the rest of humanity? Would she care that He is her Savior as well as ours? Would she care that He had just defeated all evil for all eternity? Would she care? He was her son. She had him for but 33 years. That is so short. Not enough time to prepare to say goodbye. Is there ever enough time? That is her baby. Her firstborn. For all intents and purposes, her Jackson. Did she doubt? Did she curse God? Did she curse all of humanity for all time to come? Did she hate me? Did she hate my son? Did she hate us because of the sacrifice of her Son for us? Did she wonder what she had done to deserve this? She probably didn't think it an honor to be chosen out of all women in history to be the mother of Jesus Christ as she watched her son die an agonizing death. She is blessed among women... but must watch her son die prematurely (in man's eyes). As I sat in church I kept envisioning two scenes from The Passion of the Christ. I have only watched that movie once and once was enough. I had to distract myself as tears welled in my eyes multiple times throughout the service. These two scenes will always stand out to me. In the courtyard when Jesus is being flogged. He looks up and see his mother, Mary. The looks on their faces. The pain He experienced... and then her pain, as his mother. Unbearable. The second scene, Jesus is carrying His cross. Mary is running down side roads to try to keep up with him and catch glimpses of him whenever she can. Jesus stumbles with the cross. She see and has a flashback of when he was a little boy and he stumbled. She ran to him then, but she cannot comfort him this time. She cannot make it all better. She cannot hold him and know that he will be there tomorrow with her. The agony of a mother watching her child die. My heart breaks for Mary.
So as a mother, I am so very thankful for the reason for Easter. As a mother, I also empathize with Mary, a mother. I empathize with God, a father. I thank them for their sacrifice. I hold my son a little longer. I am thankful I will not need to make that sacrifice, for I do not know if I would have the strength.
Then bursting forth in glorious day up from the grave he rose again.
And as he stands in victory sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am his and he is mine bought with the precious blood of Christ.
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